Holiday

Sarah McLachlan - Angel

First Snow Fall

i
trudge through the snow,
landscape frozen,
fingertips white;

tundra of fabric that
stretches the eyes
and thins the breath.

i
ration the atmosphere,
and quicken the steps.

(your smile lingers on my eyelids and
melts to my stained cheeks like rain;
i've been missing you
so much.)





Bar 185; 11:38

it would have taken
a lifetime to explain
the way your fingers gripped
the vodka gimlet
with such
controlled, predictable
anger
that made me all of a sudden
so
tired
underneath your gaze.


i stopped myself from
breaking away and
getting up -

how to deny
1 part vodka,
1 part juice,
and 2 parts questioned loyalty.

how to swallow
too good of a truth?



1 week

my dear,
i fear
the very idea
of missing you
more than what i'm worth.

it is like a
teeter -
totter -

the more you are missed,
the less it will show.

hold on,
and we will
steady the weight.



Dream #6

you
wrote
her
lines of sweetness,
of unmeasured, inconsiderate charm.

she wrote back,
temped and
amused.

i slept in the darkness of
trying so hard to
make you SEE,
but you walked away temporarily
(only to come back).

i kissed your neck,
and dreamt of her smile,
fingers that glided over skin
unaware of circumstance.
i tasted your lips and
saw her eyes there -
lingering on your bones,
thirsting for your hips.

i reached to touch,
but she is standing there,
between comforter and skin,
desire and
trust.

tell me,
what is trust?