you don't love me

i have heard
too much advice
from lips to toes
months that go
from March til May
and back to
December days/

falling from the weight of your words
they go round and round
and to the floor they pull me
too close
nobody says it but
everyone knows/

and i,
i have heard
too much talk
from your eyes to your ears
from the shadow of your fears
that i sleep with
too many nights i sleep with /

i don't want to run with
empty promises no more
don't come to the door
i won't come back
no more/

you + me

January 7, 2010
3:11 pm

come March in the spring
i will have spent
enough moons to
shake off this frown -
you will belong to
someone else's shoulder,
dark and cinnamon,
wild and near;

come june and the sky
i will drive by the lake
smell the seagulls and their cries,
and i will have
lain enough battles down
saltwater and scabs
over miles and photos

and i will have
enough to get by
and i will have
spent too much time
and i will have
said my goodbyes

and i will have
said my goodbyes.

and so the story goes

i went snooping into the grounds
where my father laid his peace,
the house of small children
and little bitty white lies --

twenty years ago doesn't seem like
-- such a big loss,
but he has given up these tactics
for a much poorer life --

i see now his yes behind dark lashes,
they stare back at me when i
smear off mascara,
eye shadow,
all this dust.

i cannot give you the things you crave for,
the die that lands on one road,
and the choices between left + right
( i cannot tell you the places i've got to go,
you are all i have been
and my father disapproves.)

keep the ring.
feed your kid -
wash your sheets,
fix your car-
i will be waiting i,n the water,
sliding down your drinking glass.